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Comedy
December 2009
Stealing from the poor to give to the rich
Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling have introduced a new plan to “save the banks” and “save the world.”
A new tax on sex is to be introduced in Parliament as emergency legislation during the next few weeks.
The tax will have exemptions for; public servants, MP’s, “in vogue” personalities and lesbians.
The rest of the population will have to fill in a forty page application form which will involve attending a health & safety course, an assessment of your dwelling by the police, your credit rating and your income tax assessment.
A licence will be issued by the local authority on payment of the £5 tax.
The licence is issued for one emission only and will require the setting up[ of a new database at the cost of £55 billion and provide jobs for another 65,000 civil servants.
Pressure sensors will be installed in every house in the country under the guise of “energy meters” to detect fraud.
The Next War: 34,000 Health & Safety Officers Vs 10,000 Jihadists
Bookies are lining up the odds on England winning the next war and the odds do not look good.
With the arrival in England of the latest imported warriors from the Islamic union Fifa are querying whether to call foul and cancel the contest.
Local Jihadists have strung up the referee and removed his entrails and also planted several bombs on the trains to stop the fans witnessing the match.
The health and safety officers have issued a “strong reprimand” to the Islamic republic of Bedwock in South London, who failed to wear the necessary safety goggles during a recent decapitation.
Gordon Browns’s strategy to “cut off the roots” of the Jihadist attack by sending all our tanks and troops to Afghanistan has yet to prove itself.
The local police were unable to intervene due to health and safety restrictions and a lack of diesel after the Islamists destroyed three refineries.
The Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, said that the refinery attacks were a minor incident unlikely to affect the banks..
The EU rapid response unit was reportedly held up in negotiations over which uniform they were going to wear.
March 2009
Comedy Clips
Gordon Brown
How come Gordon Brown drives round London in a bullet proof car while our front line
soldiers drive round Afghanistan in open top land rovers.
BBC
The BBC sends spies to comedy clubs to steal jokes.
I've got one for them:
Is the BBC politically correct or just very very Gay.
Here's a BBC joke.
If an Islamic fundamentalist terrorist is an ethnic migrant.
And bombing London is a "major incident"
What's a nuclear suicide bomber?
"A population dispersal person"..
Here's a BBC joke
If jokes about race or colour are politically incorrect.
Does that mean we've got to laugh at the bugger joke for another ten years.
Brainwashing the Nation
Don't we all wish we were;
West London pseudo intellectual, academic, left wing, politically correct,human rights supporter, city dweller,
office worker, upper middle class, university educated Sainsbury's shoppers.
And Here is the BBC news.
Gordon Brown launched his 25th financial package to save the banking system.
The BBC spent half a million pounds of licence payers money perverting the course of justice
The flowers are out in the Blue Peter garden and everything is lovely.
Gollywog
You can't call a gollywog a gollywog
But you can still call Adrian Chilles a fat Brummie bastard.
Gordon Brown
I have a lot of respect for Gordon Brown.
He's the only Scotsman who crossed the border into England,
Totally destroyed the whole country. and lived to tell the tale. (William Wallace loves him)
Maybe he should get the same treatment. Hung drawn and quartered.
Now that's something to dwell on isn't it.
Gordon Brown
I have a lot of respect for Gordon Brown
He spent ten years as chancellor
Two years as prime minister.
He abolished boom and bust
Built up a dynamic British economy
Saved the banks in the credit crunch
And then saved the world.
(Cuckoo!)
Revolution
There's a revolution coming.
It starts at Woolworths on Monday.
Prime Minister’s Statement
Today I have to tell you that the country is in dire financial trouble.
This has been brought about by a combination of ten years of proliferate government spending when I was Chancellor.
And the collapse of the banking system brought about by the banking regulation system which I introduced.
Both of these actions would have individually brought the British economy to its knees.
But together they have unfortunately destroyed the economy for the next decade, at least.
If I had been more Prudent none of these things would have happened.
I also have to admit that five years ago I went to the EU finance ministers and recommended them to ask the US to relax the restrictions on their banks.
This allowed the US banks to extend their asset to borrowing ratio to 40 -1.
So I actually managed to destroy the British economy twice and cause the global failure as well.
So, my friends I have to tell you to prepare yourselves for the worst.
And I hope that you will forgive me and my fellow MP’s for our great ineptitude.
I am very very sorry to have let you down like this.
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